On where I’ve been….

When I originally started my WordPress Blog, I was posting every single week.
Always eager to share my latest recipe, favorite quotes, or adventure of the day, I always wanted to document every single thing I did that I found interesting.

You may have noticed that I don’t post nearly as much as I used to.
Maybe twice a month if that but I know I have been neglecting this blog and I am now ready to let you know why.
It’s not because I’ve been too busy although I have been busy, it’s not because I forget and it’s not because I’m too lazy to update you all, but this time last year, I had some major changes in my life that set me back quite a bit.
Emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually.
I hate to admit it but I found myself in a depression that I couldn’t seem to get out of.
Despite my happy appearance on the outside, I was so miserable on the inside.
I kept trying to keep myself busy in different things, to help ease my mind.
To cope as best as I could but nothing seemed to work.
I don’t think I have ever cried so much in my entire life but the severity of everything that was going on was too much to go through alone.
I felt so defeated and helpless.

I stopped going out and enjoying things that I once did.
I no longer laughed hysterically as I once did at certain things.
I didn’t care to dress up or groom myself like I normally do.
I lost my confidence in several things.
From gardening, to baking, and obviously blogging.
I just felt myself losing it.

I prayed more than I ever have in my entire life.
I meditated on every scripture I could find in the bible regarding courage and strength.
I relied solely on Jehovah knowing that he was the only one who could understand me, who could console me, who could protect me, and who could guide me.

April 14th, 2015 will forever be a day that I remember and since that day, it has strengthened my relationship with Jehovah, my mother, my bible teacher, and my best friend.

Jehovah’s love and mercy showed me what loyal love truly is.
My mothers love and support was shown to me in a way that it never has been shown before.
My bible teachers love and wisdom has shown me how important it is to put Jehovah first in all matters.
My best friends love and patience has shown me that I am strong enough to push through this year and not look back.

2015 was full of lessons, but above all I learned the importance of love.

The other day I found myself singing out loud in my car to some old country music.
Something so trivial I know but I can’t remember the last time I was so happy and content that I was singing out loud in my car at the top of my lungs.

A year later and I am starting to feel like myself again.
Little by little.
Step by step.

Thanks to Jehovah, I am feeling like myself again.

Xoxo,

-R. Vargas

2 thoughts on “On where I’ve been….

  1. I’m so sorry, you haven’t been feeling good emotionally/spiritually. You’ve always been a friend to me in hard times though we’ve never met. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to return the favor. Please know that even when you don’t feel like it you are a bright ray of sunlight to others. I know you have been to me, even when (obviously) you were going through hard times yourself. Please keep your head up and know there are better days ahead 😘😘😘

    Liked by 2 people

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