Well it was a rough month, but obviously I made it out alive.
From getting into a car accident, dealing with insurance claims, my car not starting, financial struggles, problem after problem within my family unit, and losing certain friendships, it’s been a rocky month but Jehovah saw to it that he would deliver me out of any distress.
Getting into my first major accident shook me up a bit I’ll be honest, but it was a wake up call that anything can happen at any moment. When I was hit by a truck, I was literally seconds away from my house. Almost home, but not home yet. I just thank God it wasn’t more severe. I would have hated to ended up in the hospital, but I think I would have hated it more had I been the reason that someone else was in the hospital.
I am dealing with the insurance claims and adjuster and let me tell you how stressful that itself is. There is nothing I could say to express how overwhelming it is so I won’t even try.
A week after I got into the car accident, my car wouldn’t start and I needed a new battery. My father let me borrow a battery out of his truck but I need to replace it when he gets back from Mexico.
Financially, I have been really stressing out. As of this moment, I have three jobs. All part time.
I still work for the hospital, but I work PRN so it’s only a few shifts a month. It’s not an every week type of job, it’s more of an on call job so my hours vary every month.
I also work part time at a retail store and I work a few hours every other week.
I still work at the bakery which I work every week and when I get my schedule in advance, I work at the retail store when I’m not at the bakery.
I know what you’re thinking, “Why do you work so much? Why three jobs and not just one?”
Well, there are a few reasons.
If you were following me before from my tumblr blog, you’ll know that I worked full time at the hospital a few months ago.
If you are a new follower of mine, I started working full time at a hospital last December. Not only was it full time, but it was really like over-time since I worked 12 hour shifts, and it wasn’t a day shift. I worked overnight.
It took some time to adjust but I did. Along with making adjustments to my new work schedule, I also had to make adjustments to not going out in service on Saturday mornings like I normally did every week, I didn’t like it too much but what could I do? I tried to make service during the week but I was so exhausted, that didn’t work out. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months and I started seeing myself slump. Not only was I slipping spiritually, but I was slipping emotionally, mentally, and even physically. I dropped 15 pounds within my first two months from eating only once a day, I was extremely tired even when I wasn’t working, always sleepy, always grumpy, and I even started growing gray hairs. (Keep in mind I’m only 22!)
I wasn’t as prepared as I use to be for the meetings, I was running out the door as soon as the meeting was over, I didn’t have time to associate or go out with my sisters and brothers for wholesome association, I was just always busy and never had time for anything. I felt so helpless but I knew it was me who had the choice to choose what I wanted to do.
I was suffering spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically, but I wasn’t suffering financially. I was making more money than I’ve ever made. I was making more money than most adults I know. If you know me personally, you know that I’m not a materialistic person. I will splurge if it’s something I know will last me or be a good investment but other than that, I thrift shop, I balance a budget out for bills, groceries, gas, etc.
As the months passed, I knew I had to make a change. I prayed and prayed and prayed incessantly to Jehovah for strength and courage and to give me a sign as to what I should do.
I knew if I gave up the job, I would no longer be financially secure and I’ll admit that it really scared me.
The only thing keeping me sane those hectic months at the hospital was knowing that the International Convention for Jehovah’s Witnesses was coming up.
When the time came around for the Convention, I put in my request off of work for two days so I could make the Convention. I put in my request weeks ahead of time. Really like a month in advance to make sure I would have off.
One day I opened up my work e-mail account and found that my request off was not approved.
I prayed to Jehovah for my sign, and I got it.
“Keep on asking, and it will be given you; keep on seeking, and you will find; keep on knocking, and it will be opened to you.”
I scheduled an appointment with my manager to meet the next day. Right before we met, I prayed for strength and courage to speak. Beginning the conversation, I thanked him for hiring me and for all the experience the job had given me but I told him I would be putting in my two weeks soon. He looked puzzled, so I then began to explain me studying to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I explained how serious and committed they were to the meetings, and the ministry. I explained how important the religion was to me and that I could no longer let work interfere with my relationship with God. I also kindly told him about my request off and how it was not approved but I was not going to miss that Convention. He leaned back in his chair and slightly smiled. He said he was familiar with the religion and knew how dedicated Witnesses were.
He didn’t like that he was losing me from the overnight shift but he understood.
Not only did he approve my days off for the Convention, but he told me he wanted to keep me at the hospital and offered me the PRN position.
I really felt Jehovah’s blessing that day.
The last week of July, I finished my last full time/overnight shift and I skipped out of the hospital with a huge grin on my face. Partly because I felt the anxiety fall off with every skip, and partly because I was headed on a long and overdue family vacation within the next few days.
Once I came back from vacation, I came back to reality. With reality, that meant bills. Bills meant money. Money meant work. I picked up hospital shifts whenever I could but it was maybe once or twice a month. I knew I couldn’t survive on that so I went back to my old seasonal job which is the retail job because my manager called me and asked if I could help her out for a few weeks, talk about perfect timing! Well things were going well in between both jobs but then all of a sudden my hours were starting to decrease at the retail store. I had no choice but to look for another job. That’s where the bakery came in.
As bad as I wanted the job at the bakery, I really had to sacrifice a few things.
First off, I took a major pay decrease. What I make at the bakery in two weeks, I made at the hospital in two days.
I also went from having a set schedule, to having a different schedule every week.
And working at a bakery may seem easy breezy but it’s not a piece of cake. (See what I did there.)
It’s tons of labor and my fingers haven’t been the same since I started a little over a month ago.
BUT I don’t want you reading this and thinking I’m complaining. As a matter of fact, I am very grateful for this job.
It is a bit of a struggle financially, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to deal with because it allows me to go out in service during the week when I’m off from the bakery, it allows me to be home at a decent time instead of working overnight, it allows me to make the meetings on time and be well prepared, it’s given me the opportunity to decide whether or not I want to go to cooking school or pastry school and it allows me to remain humble.
At the bakery, I am doing things I used to do when I was 16 years old like washing dishes, sweeping floors, taking out trash, etc.
I pray that I never overlook, forget, or think I’m better than anyone who does anything in that manner.
And I’m not ashamed to say that I do any of those things, and I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t make much money.
I’m not ashamed because it allows me to serve Jehovah the way I should be serving him.
Losing hours, losing money, losing opportunities, it means nothing if I am gaining Jehovah’s approval.
After all, a sacrifice isn’t a sacrifice if it’s not really a sacrifice.
So let me take this time to thank my wonderful manager at the bakery Kat for offering me the position because you don’t know how thankful I am that I can be at peace with myself and more importantly, at peace with God now for giving him more of my time that he always deserved. Thank you Boss Lady!
Moving on, things have been hectic at home but with Jehovah’s help and the loving support from my close friends, Javier, Chelsea, Jordyn, Lucero, Kim, & J. Jones, things aren’t so bad. They help me put things into perspective with their own issues no matter how big or small, and they make me realize that there will always be someone out there who has it worse than what we are going through. A scripture that always brings me comfort and that was actually shared with me by a dear friend named Audri, is found at Psalms 18:16-19. It reads,
“He reached down from on high;
He took hold of me and pulled me from deep waters.
He rescued me from my strong enemy,
From those hating me, who were stronger than I was.
They confronted me on the day of my disaster,
But Jehovah was my support.
He brought me out into a place of safety;
He rescued me because he was pleased with me.”
Rough times come and go, all the pain is temporary. You just gotta take the good with the bad and shake it off.
That’s what I’ve been telling myself since I’ve lost quite a few friendships over the past couple of months.
With some I knew it was coming but with others, I always tried making it work. No matter what you say or do, or how you even say or do it, some times you just can’t win. There’s nothing wrong with that but you get to a point in your life where you forget about what you want, and remember what you deserve. I want to make friendships work, but I deserve to have friends who care about me just as much as I care about them.
Never forget about what you deserve.
November was a rough month but it did have some highlights.
Here are a few:
- My parents celebrated their 34th Anniversary together on November 7th.
- I was privileged to see the streaming of the Branch Meeting which was brutally honest and real which I appreciated 100%.
- My friend Alicia was baptized.
- Kim made me cake!
- Javier bought me two records I’ve been looking everywhere for.
- My coworkers at the bakery really seem to love me already. (Shout out to Mackis.com for following me!)
- I finally met a vintage blogger I’ve been waiting over a year to meet!
- I got to see, “Gone with the Wind,” on the big screen. (Swoon*)
- I survived my first big holiday at the bakery. (Thanksgiving)
- I discovered some amazing blogs about missionaries in Nicaragua! (Thanks to Rhanda!)
Who knows what December will have in store, maybe just as crazy, maybe not.
Only Jehovah knows.
Before I end my night, I’ve gotten quite a few followers over the past couple of days so let me express my thanks to the new followers and my gratitude for those of you who continue to read my post.
Thank you everyone!